Fr Jean-Marie Petitclerc, SDB
I have often heard it said: "I have no difficulty with being a brother to my neighbour - that's fine. But being a brother to the young people living in those suburbs at the other side of the city - that’s not for me!" Well, brotherhood, or fraternity, is one of the three key republican values. Because, if you take away the frame of brotherhood, freedom can become a desire for omnipotence and equality can lead to egalitarian ideology. For a Christian, believing in God the Father means considering the other as a brother.
I like to tell young people: "Imagine a group of friends where everyone has the same political views, the same religious beliefs, they share the same taste in literature, music, and so on. Well, everyone would be bored!" What makes the life of a group beautiful is when one tells another about a book or a film, or a record that the other, left to himself, would never have bought. But for differences to enrich, we must make the effort to get to know each other and to overcome our fears. In the mind of Don Bosco, educating to brotherhood means learning to care for those in need. Let us not forget that the strength of a chain depends on the weakest link.
Personally, I prefer respect to tolerance. Respecting others sometimes means show ourselves openly intolerant of certain actions. Because there are some actions that build up the person, and others that destroy him. There are actions that strengthen the social fabric, others that ruin it. We cannot educate through tolerance, but through example. And for me as an educator, one way to respect young people is by being intolerant of some of their actions.
A place of brotherhood is not a conflict-free place. The important thing is to learn to deal with each other with respect. Do not forget that the natural way to resolve a conflict is by violence. "A is in conflict with B. A destroys B. There is no more conflict." But managing conflict with respect for each person involved is something that must be learned. In the educational institutions he founded, Don Bosco was a formidable apostle of mediation.
Finally, to promote brotherhood the way Don Bosco did, you need to bring some spiritual food for its growth. You have probably heard this Indian story.
An elderly Apache told his grandson: "In your heart, as in the heart of every man, there are two wolves fighting. There is a grey one which is aggressive, always ready to jump on the other one. And the other is a white one, silent, always ready to welcome the other." The child then asked: "And which of them will win, grandfather?" The wise man said: "the one you nourish most."
